it's been a long, long time since i've actually had absolutely nothing at all to do on a saturday evening. i just finished the last peanut-black sesame biscuit in the most unglamorous way possible, digging into the bottom of the bag for all the peanuts and black sesame seeds which had fallen off the top of the biscuits, and shovelling them into my mouth. and you know how your fingers get rather wet and sticky when you do that - the black sesame seeds stuck to my fingers, and i simply proceeded to lick them off.
i told you, it's been a long, long time since i've actually had absolutely nothing at all to do on a saturday evening, and it's wonderful.
***
at the risk of sounding stuck-up and/or small minded, it was only fairly recently that i realised a whole lot more other people i know don't stay in the bukit-something area, or in a house. i never thought it was a big deal to stay in bukit timah and in a house, because, hey, i grew up with people who all did. but it evidently is, and sometimes i just don't want to tell people i stay there anymore because of the reaction i get.
but i went for a walk just now, and i think i will go on telling them after all. because i love my neighbourhood, and i'm really thankful i stay here. it's got quite a number of old houses, and with old houses you get old gardens; with old gardens, old trees. old trees with leaves made silvery-greyish-green by the sun, spindly branched-out branches sillhoueted against the blue-turning-pale pink sky. with all these things, you get what i think must be the most beautiful suburban sunsets ever.
and with houses and gardens, you get, along with crickets chirping and the occasional bird trill, the laughter of children. because of children's birthday parties on saturday evenings - i passed by a total of three on my walk, the last one had yellow smiley-face balloons attached to the gate. all three gates had balloons attached to them, actually. the second one i passed, there was a tubby boy wearing red crocs (he had a very flushed face too) waving a party streamer and bellowing a birthday song rather tunelessly: happy birthday to you, my love to you, may all your wishes come true.
***
rehearsal for the wcdc concert ended about two hours earlier than scheduled, i hopped on the first available bus back home after that and looked forward eagerly to crashing on the couch. but blame me and my smile, i said hi to the uncle at the caltex station - yes, i stay near the petrol station where shakespeare singh works - and he bid me sit down next to him while he launched into a poetry session. he often ended the poems with an emphatic shout and a sort of half-jump, which was quite amusing. i wish i hadn't been so sleepy, i would have liked to remember the poems he recited to me - especially the ones about war and about God.
i pray that there will be world peace
so that for breakfast, everyone can have coffee, bread, butter and CHEESE! (cheese emphatically shouted with a half-jump)
but something he said after his poem on God struck me, about how he thinks he's a small fry. that's a jon line, too. and i was thinking about it later during my walk, i think the people who are most contented and at peace with themselves are those who recognise there're small fries - those who recognise and can accept that there's a God greater than us all, greater than the things of the world, and we're nothing without Him. a God who created everything around us for us to enjoy, if only we would see that we're small fries, and just enjoy it for what it's worth. because i've come to realise that it's only when you acknowledge what (and who) you truly are, that you can stop caring so much about what the world thinks and stop trying so hard, too hard.
not that small fries don't seek excellence in everything they do, you understand. it's just that there's more to everything which this world affords, today.
***
i make an effort to smile at people i encounter on my walks - smiles from neighbours always make a lovely evening even lovelier. and sometimes it's the most unexpected people who have the most genuine smiles. like the contractor gabbling away in hokkien, smelling of sweat and cigarette smoke who broke his flow of words just to smile back at me. and then you wonder at how people can not realise that they're loving God by doing these little things.
i told you, it's been a long, long time since i've actually had absolutely nothing at all to do on a saturday evening, and it's wonderful.
***
at the risk of sounding stuck-up and/or small minded, it was only fairly recently that i realised a whole lot more other people i know don't stay in the bukit-something area, or in a house. i never thought it was a big deal to stay in bukit timah and in a house, because, hey, i grew up with people who all did. but it evidently is, and sometimes i just don't want to tell people i stay there anymore because of the reaction i get.
but i went for a walk just now, and i think i will go on telling them after all. because i love my neighbourhood, and i'm really thankful i stay here. it's got quite a number of old houses, and with old houses you get old gardens; with old gardens, old trees. old trees with leaves made silvery-greyish-green by the sun, spindly branched-out branches sillhoueted against the blue-turning-pale pink sky. with all these things, you get what i think must be the most beautiful suburban sunsets ever.
and with houses and gardens, you get, along with crickets chirping and the occasional bird trill, the laughter of children. because of children's birthday parties on saturday evenings - i passed by a total of three on my walk, the last one had yellow smiley-face balloons attached to the gate. all three gates had balloons attached to them, actually. the second one i passed, there was a tubby boy wearing red crocs (he had a very flushed face too) waving a party streamer and bellowing a birthday song rather tunelessly: happy birthday to you, my love to you, may all your wishes come true.
***
rehearsal for the wcdc concert ended about two hours earlier than scheduled, i hopped on the first available bus back home after that and looked forward eagerly to crashing on the couch. but blame me and my smile, i said hi to the uncle at the caltex station - yes, i stay near the petrol station where shakespeare singh works - and he bid me sit down next to him while he launched into a poetry session. he often ended the poems with an emphatic shout and a sort of half-jump, which was quite amusing. i wish i hadn't been so sleepy, i would have liked to remember the poems he recited to me - especially the ones about war and about God.
i pray that there will be world peace
so that for breakfast, everyone can have coffee, bread, butter and CHEESE! (cheese emphatically shouted with a half-jump)
but something he said after his poem on God struck me, about how he thinks he's a small fry. that's a jon line, too. and i was thinking about it later during my walk, i think the people who are most contented and at peace with themselves are those who recognise there're small fries - those who recognise and can accept that there's a God greater than us all, greater than the things of the world, and we're nothing without Him. a God who created everything around us for us to enjoy, if only we would see that we're small fries, and just enjoy it for what it's worth. because i've come to realise that it's only when you acknowledge what (and who) you truly are, that you can stop caring so much about what the world thinks and stop trying so hard, too hard.
not that small fries don't seek excellence in everything they do, you understand. it's just that there's more to everything which this world affords, today.
***
i make an effort to smile at people i encounter on my walks - smiles from neighbours always make a lovely evening even lovelier. and sometimes it's the most unexpected people who have the most genuine smiles. like the contractor gabbling away in hokkien, smelling of sweat and cigarette smoke who broke his flow of words just to smile back at me. and then you wonder at how people can not realise that they're loving God by doing these little things.
1 comment:
Hello Chloe! I'm leaving you a comment because you haven't updated since forever and I have nothing to read so update okay? :)
(I will leave you more substantive and meaningful comments in the future. I promise.)
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