okay i realised my post from this afternoon was rather incoherent so i've deleted it and i'm editing it completely. there was this flyer in this afternoon's mail which started "dear neighbours" - let me just quote verbatim, it's easier.
"dear neighbours. . .
38-45, male and single? or know someone so?
i am a 35+ year unmarried female, previously focused on career goals, presently focused on finding a responsible life partner.
i am
attractive, elegant, petite, chinese, caring and supportive, reliable, positive, well-educated, university graduate, from a good family background.
seeking a
single, decent, loyal, mature and responsible individual who enjoys reading, and the outdoors such as traveling, nature, snow skiing, scuba diving, not addictive, not abusive/volatile/ emotionally broken, non-smoker, social drinker."
I KID YOU NOT. she left her email and handphone number but not her address. i'd like to go see who she is though, haha! at the very end of the flyer she has this bit "yes! i know someone whom i'd like you to meet" and you can tick the boxes which follow, there are choices like "accountant," "doctor," "lawyer". . .the first three boxes, obviously. there's an "other" box too! the part i like the best is when she's describing the guy she wants to meet. errr hello?? does she think this is guys-r-us, made to order? and what does "not addictive" mean??? she probably meant that she wants a guy who isn't addicted to stuff like computer games and soccer but - oh well. we try our best, i suppose. i wonder if she really sent it out herself or her desperate parents did it on her behalf. how absolutely demeaning, don't you think? sending a flyer to your neighbours. !!!!! i hope these exclaimation marks suffice to express my total bewilderment and amusement. and she doesn't want a guy who's "emotionally broken" either.
sigh. ?????? i also hope that those questions marks convey the fact that i am also absolutely speechless.
and i'm also wondering if she sent the flyer to joseph, which would mean that she would have had to have spent a lot of money on printing because he's quite a few houses away. he's a bit young of course but HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
ever since i told my mother that i write about the things she says on my blog i think she's made more of an effort to make more lame comments. she says they are "witty," not "lame," but really - you be the judge. what's worse is i think i'm becoming really lame too.
last night she came into my room to borrow the hairdryer and saw that a pen had dropped onto the floor.
mother: why is your pen on the floor?
me: because tomorrow morning i will wake up and sit at my desk and i will pick up the pen.
mother goes over to take out hairdryer from cupboard and makes some things fall out from the cupboard in the process (i TOLD you my cupboard was TOO FULL).
mother: oops. but nevermind. tomorrow morning when you take clothes to wear you can pick that up okay?
but i think what happened today when she was cooking dinner really takes the cake.
mother: can you check the expiry date on that packet of sauce please? (suki thai dipping sauce! suitable for steamboat! to create good sauce put in toasted sesame seeds and coriander, stir together and serve!)
me: 24 april 2005. (yes, TWO THOUSAND AND FFFFIIIVVVEEE)
mother: oh okay. you mean i bought it so long ago? can you like tear it open for me please?
i dutifully do so.
me: are you sure you want to do this?
mother: i think you need to get the scissors and cut the packet open leh. i cannot get the opening big enough to pour it into the pan.
me: mummy, it expired in 2005.
mother: huh. but then the beehoon will be so plain. okay lor you just put it in the bowl there.
she really did intend to pour it into the beehoon and fry it all up.
anyhow, she didn't, and here is her comment of the day:
"i shall not compromise health for the sake of economy."
?????!!!!!. those punctuation marks convey the same emotions as above.
and in case you're wondering, the sauce ultimately went the way of the sinkhole.
"dear neighbours. . .
38-45, male and single? or know someone so?
i am a 35+ year unmarried female, previously focused on career goals, presently focused on finding a responsible life partner.
i am
attractive, elegant, petite, chinese, caring and supportive, reliable, positive, well-educated, university graduate, from a good family background.
seeking a
single, decent, loyal, mature and responsible individual who enjoys reading, and the outdoors such as traveling, nature, snow skiing, scuba diving, not addictive, not abusive/volatile/ emotionally broken, non-smoker, social drinker."
I KID YOU NOT. she left her email and handphone number but not her address. i'd like to go see who she is though, haha! at the very end of the flyer she has this bit "yes! i know someone whom i'd like you to meet" and you can tick the boxes which follow, there are choices like "accountant," "doctor," "lawyer". . .the first three boxes, obviously. there's an "other" box too! the part i like the best is when she's describing the guy she wants to meet. errr hello?? does she think this is guys-r-us, made to order? and what does "not addictive" mean??? she probably meant that she wants a guy who isn't addicted to stuff like computer games and soccer but - oh well. we try our best, i suppose. i wonder if she really sent it out herself or her desperate parents did it on her behalf. how absolutely demeaning, don't you think? sending a flyer to your neighbours. !!!!! i hope these exclaimation marks suffice to express my total bewilderment and amusement. and she doesn't want a guy who's "emotionally broken" either.
sigh. ?????? i also hope that those questions marks convey the fact that i am also absolutely speechless.
and i'm also wondering if she sent the flyer to joseph, which would mean that she would have had to have spent a lot of money on printing because he's quite a few houses away. he's a bit young of course but HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
ever since i told my mother that i write about the things she says on my blog i think she's made more of an effort to make more lame comments. she says they are "witty," not "lame," but really - you be the judge. what's worse is i think i'm becoming really lame too.
last night she came into my room to borrow the hairdryer and saw that a pen had dropped onto the floor.
mother: why is your pen on the floor?
me: because tomorrow morning i will wake up and sit at my desk and i will pick up the pen.
mother goes over to take out hairdryer from cupboard and makes some things fall out from the cupboard in the process (i TOLD you my cupboard was TOO FULL).
mother: oops. but nevermind. tomorrow morning when you take clothes to wear you can pick that up okay?
but i think what happened today when she was cooking dinner really takes the cake.
mother: can you check the expiry date on that packet of sauce please? (suki thai dipping sauce! suitable for steamboat! to create good sauce put in toasted sesame seeds and coriander, stir together and serve!)
me: 24 april 2005. (yes, TWO THOUSAND AND FFFFIIIVVVEEE)
mother: oh okay. you mean i bought it so long ago? can you like tear it open for me please?
i dutifully do so.
me: are you sure you want to do this?
mother: i think you need to get the scissors and cut the packet open leh. i cannot get the opening big enough to pour it into the pan.
me: mummy, it expired in 2005.
mother: huh. but then the beehoon will be so plain. okay lor you just put it in the bowl there.
she really did intend to pour it into the beehoon and fry it all up.
anyhow, she didn't, and here is her comment of the day:
"i shall not compromise health for the sake of economy."
?????!!!!!. those punctuation marks convey the same emotions as above.
and in case you're wondering, the sauce ultimately went the way of the sinkhole.
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