SAHM Survival Guide

(No helper, mum-centric edition)

I thought I would compile a list of things I found were essential during these 4 months of paid and 6 plus months of unpaid maternity leave, for your reference in case you were thinking of taking a similar or longer time off with your child (two more months!). I have caveated above that this is mum-centric, so if you are looking for proper activities involving your child, i.e. not of the taking long bus rides and going to the supermarket variety, ask Google again.

1.       Supportive Husband

I have mentioned many times that I have no illusions about marriage, in particular with regard to how helpful husbands are around the house – so what may constitute “support” to me may not be to you. If you have a husband who cooks and does the dishes and cleans the house, good for you!

Jon really did put in his best to help out by washing FBC’s milk bottles and doing the dishes occasionally. While his other efforts at housework sometimes resulted in more work and consequently more nagging from me, I think he deserves an A+ for effort, patience and emotional support. Also for being as chill about being a parent to FBC as I am, and for never denying me sashimi although it’s expensive and I’m not working.

2.       Someone to leave your child with while you do your own thing for a few hours

Much thanks to my mother and my in-laws. I went to the gym mostly, and once to the dentist to get my wisdom tooth removed. Whatever floats your boat. 

3.       Part-time help

No further explanation needed as to why this is essential, although I still do all the laundry and most baby-related things myself, as well as cook. I have done the floors myself in the weeks she couldn’t make it – it is doable, but annoying because babies will insist on trying to get at the vacuum cleaner and when they can’t because you have imprisoned them in their cots, the resulting ruckus is even louder than the vacuum cleaner. Zzzz.

4.       Books

I purchased a Kindle from yoursingaporeimporters.com just before I started my maternity leave, which was about one to two weeks before FBC’s arrival (it was actually medical leave as my gynae decided that I needed to stop being so active due to my amniotic fluid index readings getting progressively lower). You can also purchase Amazon gift cards at a premium from them, which helps with buying books if you’re not big on VPN and anonymous browsing and whatnot.

Because of this, I have read an astonishing number of books in the past year – my Kindle home screen puts the number of items on my Kindle at 89, so taking in to account the fact that I like to download samples of books, as well as some classics Jon downloaded, I would put the total number of books I’ve read at about 40. While this has been useful in keeping my mind active and my grammar from going down the drain, I can’t say that most of what I’ve read has been the most intellectually stimulating. I’m also on a Kindle fast because reading too many books on it has made me unable to properly focus when I’m reading paperbacks, and I’ve got Kate Atkinson’s latest novel, A God In Ruins, and Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere sitting on my bedside table, both of which I would like to read properly.

Some authors I liked were:

• Elizabeth George – The Inspector Lynley series. Not all of the series is well-written. I picked and chose based on reviews. Also (spoiler alert), Helen dies and I wasn’t interested in reading about Helen dying because I liked her too much. The books I enjoyed included: A Great Deliverance, Well-Schooled In Murder and In The Presence Of The Enemy.
•  Fannie Flagg – I first read Fried Green Tomatoes at The Whistle-Stop Café more than 10 years ago. Her books in general are easy to read, heart-warming and filled with interesting characters. Welcome To The World, Baby Girl! And The All-Girl Filling Station’s Last Reunion are good too.
• Liane Moriarty – I read The Husband’s Secret in paperback on our babymoon. It was okay, and I saw the secret from a mile away. The book of hers which I really enjoyed was What Alice Forgot, which is apparently being made into a movie. Jon says I only enjoyed the book because Alice forgot everything after falling off her bike at a spin class.
• James Herriot – I would consider All Creatures Great And Small, All Things Bright and Beautiful and All Things Wise and Wonderful proper Literature and perhaps best read in paperback. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
• Gary D. Schimidt – Excellent Young Adult Fiction. I read Okay For Now and The Wednesday Wars.
• Ellen Raskin’s The Westing Game (also a young adult book). Creeped me out and kept me awake, but the ending was totally un-creepy and very nice.  

5.       TV

Ah, TV. If you haven’t switched to Starhub, please do so.

Cooking/ food shows

•  Bake With Anna Olson and Fresh With Anna Olson. Anna Olson must be one of the most boring TV cooks ever, but she does have pretty good tips, especially on the former show. Her recipe ideas on the latter aren’t bad either.
• Giada At Home and Everyday Italian. Giada de Laurentiis has a big head and sometimes I wonder if she can really cook, but she is so neat when she cooks, and her gestures are so compact. It’s quite therapeutic watching her, really. Plus her shows are good for gleaning ideas for dinner.
• Gordon Ramsay’s Ultimate Home Cooking. Gordon Ramsay cooking in his own kitchen (I hope it’s his own!), with appearances by his kids. Need I say more?
• The Great British Bake-Off. Season 4 was meh, but I am really enjoying Season 5 (BBC Entertainment is lagging, I know, but what can we do?)
•  Any show Nigella hosts. Because Nigella. Personally I find she uses a lot of fat, e.g. butter and cream in her cooking so I don’t really like her recipes, but. See previous sentence. 

    

     Korean dramas (dramafire.com)

• The Producers – best Korean drama I’ve watched so far this year. Good writing, believable characters and plot. And Cha Tae Hyun,
• The Time We Were Not In Love. Because Ha Ji Won (!!!!). I know this show has its fair share of detractors, but it’s not over yet and so far I am enjoying the story because Ha Ji Won and Lee Jin Wook are doing a great job portraying characters who are REAL and NORMAL.
• Cheongdamdong Scandal. Couldn’t commit to it, but because it was SO long, every time I needed something to watch when I was doing a bit of ironing or feeling lonely whilst cooking dinner, it would be showing when I turned on the TV to Channel 820 for a good 2 months or so. It’s not half bad, and based on what I’ve read online, it is particularly satisfying watching the evil mother-in-law’s comeuppance. You could consider watching it if you are really bored.

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I'm probably giving SAHMs a bad name (too free, becoming auntie, etc.), but hey, we all deal with staying at home in our own ways. 

As to activities with FBC, besides lots of singing and peek-a-boo-ing, I have taken many bus rides and walks with him to meet friends for lunch and to the supermarket, and we have enjoyed them all. I will miss the feeling of having him close to me, small and snug, exploring the world from his carrier. It is these moments I treasure the most of all, and I hope he does too, even if all he remembers of these times is the feeling of being loved and cherished, and security in a world he is only just coming to know.