Saturday, 2 June 2007

it was reassuring, having jon place his hand gently over mine and say, softly, it's just twenty-one. and in the middle of newton hawker centre on a late public holiday night, the too-loud and too-brash voices trying to make themselves heard over the din faded away and for that moment, feeling the warm weight of his palm on my hand, everything was right with the world.

it's just twenty-one. reassurance for the days when Being All Grown Up looms closer than ever before, and it's not going to be the time of Growing Up anymore and it scares, terrifies me. reassurance, like the feeling you get when you find that you're pleased and able to smile broadly to yourself at the simplest things, like the smell of chai tau kueh on the air-conditioned bus, packaged in those ubiquitous bright orangey-red plastic bags we know so well, held by an auntie you can't bear to curse silently at for being inconsiderate - besides, it's quite a nice smell, actually. or finding the last xs ice-cream with a smiley face shirt in esprit, being scolded at the age of twenty by the station control master for eating in the mrt station excuse me miss, the sign is very big there ah, no eating okay? (but i was awfully hungry). or, after being scolded by ian for failing my basic theory evaluation, finding out that after adele failed her basic theory test she simply gave up driving, finding out that jon failed his evaluation too.

i'll get through it, through twenty-two, twenty-three, fifty-two, seventy-five - maybe even ninety, perhaps. and God will be with me as He's been before.

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